Life is a story. Perhaps yours reads like a drama, or a historical account, maybe it feels like a self help or a how-to book, it may even be a great love story or a tale of adventure. Maybe you feel like you’re living a tragedy or divine comedy, perhaps a great escape. Stories reveal the environment that’s shaped us, our perspective of the world, and where God’s been present all along. In many ways, they are a window into our soul.
My story is one of longing; a desire for adventure and a life worth living through following a dream, until that dream ended. My story doesn’t end there, it picks up in another place and time where I learn what it means to let go of lesser loves and discover what it means to be a deeply rooted person.
At one time I started writing the details of my story, mostly my China experience, but part way through I began to wonder, why am I doing this? No one will want to read it.
This morning as I lay awake in bed, it hit me. It didn’t matter if anyone ever reads the accounts of how I got to China and how it changed my life. The process of telling my story was my process of healing. It’s been five years since leaving China, and I am still telling my story. There is still life there, but when I returned I shared so little because I thought there was no one to listen, no one who could understand unless they’d experienced it themselves in some way. Writing it was therapeutic because it allowed me to honor my story for the ways my experience shaped me. Like a river slowly flowing over a rock for years, I could see where my story smoothed out my hard edges, or created new cracks. The process soothed my isolation and revealed deep gratefulness for this large part of my life, nearly half of my lifetime. But most importantly, I began to notice the presence of God in the midst of my story.
I believe our stories are full of treasures; precious gems to be held gently and appreciated for their value. We each have parts of our lives that we deliberately keep hidden from others or we don’t bring up because we fear others won’t want to hear or won’t understand. But rather than burying our treasures, I want to encourage you to honor them. I want you to explore the parts of your story that don’t often get told or are in hiding. I believe they have the potential to reveal the greatest treasure of all: God’s everlasting love, even if they are painful.
Exploring Our Stories
When is the last time you shared about your life journey in a way that felt meaningful, that expressed some part of you that people don’t often ask about? Sometimes there are parts of our stories we rather keep private, and I understand, but it doesn’t mean you can’t honor them. Spending time with parts of our story allow us to savor a memory, a special moment, lament a pain, grieve a sorrow or to recollect a moment that made you laugh out loud. Here are some ways to explore yours and others’ stories….
- Write your story, write about a meaningful part of your life that you wish others knew. If you don’t write, perhaps express it in a piece of art, through baking, or by reliving it in your imagination. Find old photos and reminisce. Let yourself wonder how that meaningful part of life shaped you. If the story is painful, wonder how God desires to transform that part of your story from ash into beauty.
- Share with someone. You may be waiting for someone to ask about your story, but perhaps you need to be the initiator. Find a trustworthy friend to invite into sharing each other’s stories. Consider how meaningful that time would be as a way to show love to each other by learning together how to honor each other’s lives and be known.
- Be one who asks good questions and invites story-telling in everyday life. Consider how you would approach yourself and try it on someone close to you. I find most people are eager to share their life if they feel safe and genuinely asked. Be sure to ask gentle followup questions that will honor what they are sharing. Be attentive to those who may want to share, but don’t know how. For example, refugees, new neighbors, a co-worker, a friend suffering loss. By offering a listening ear, you are showing the love of Christ in a profoundly powerful way, you are showing another person they matter, they are known, and they are loved.
- Loss is a part of our stories we keep hidden, sometimes from ourselves. We believe that in order to get over the pain and move on we must stuff those parts of our lives far down; act as if they never happened. We think other’s don’t want to hear our sadness. We can’t blot out those we’ve loved and lost anymore than ignore pains we’ve suffered—they are always with us. Lament is sharing your story of grief with God and others. Sharing about the lives of those who’ve touched you is a story we can always tell.
- Shame also keeps us from honoring our stories. Shame holds our stories hostage and cause us to live in fear rather than freedom (Galatians 5: 1). Sharing shame is a delicate practice. I encourage you to start slowly. Consider sharing part of it in a safe place with a compassionate Spiritual Director or counselor. Even stories that feel like chains, can be broken open and make way for new life.
When we can find life in our stories, we can begin to see the fingerprints of God in our lives. When we can look at, honor, and find gratefulness in our stories, we begin to notice that God is/was always present, always loving, and always reaching out to us in life. Story-telling is how we begin to know we are known and deeply loved in all of life.
“I have loved you with an everlasting love.”
Jeremiah 31: 3
I hope you can find a ways to honor your story and others’. I know it isn’t always easy and finding a listening ear can be a challenge. If you’d like to share with me, please reach out at the bottom of the website. I believe stories are holy ground and are meant to be heard and known.
Stories are great! Thanks for sharing your stories and encouraging others to share their stories.