Airports have to be one of the most frustrating places. Hearing that my flight has been delayed due to weather, some unknown yet essential broken mechanical part, or an overbooked flight test my patience more than my children. I wonder if it’s part of a social experiment to see how long people will wait for their desired destination without rioting. No amount of Starbucks or free wifi can calm a person’s frustration when you’re anxious to be in your intended destination at the intended time on your itinerary.
Scenarios like this are more frequently part of our busy, time driven schedules. They only further escalate our spirit of impatience. We are ever looking forward while planning ahead and rarely embracing the moment of now.
Naturally an impatient person, I’ve heeded the wisdom of others and never prayed for it. Who wants to be tested to be patient? But recently my perspective on patience has been challenged to not see it as passive, irritation while I wait for what we really want, but rather an entering actively into life by living fully present in my surroundings* and circumstances—even the annoying ones.
How does one enter actively into life by living fully present? Defining patience in this manner brought one word to mind—attentiveness.
We attend to items daily: work, our children, chores, shopping. But that’s not what I mean by attentiveness linked with patience. It’s easy to attribute attending to, to the tasks we need to complete based on a scale of time in which we check them off our to-do list, items that benefit ourselves and make us feel accomplished in the day.
There is another facet of attentiveness that inspires the heart and is motivated by love. Attentiveness and patience are not about personal attainment, rather they are an outward response to what our senses perceive as we take a moment to acknowledge our present surroundings. Attentiveness means being mindful, observant, watchful, heedful of others, to give care and to pay attention to, to notice. When we are attentive in life, we can be patient and present in all of life’s moments.
“Patience involves staying with it, living through it, listening carefully to what presents itself to us here and now.”
Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life
Our Five Senses Can Help Us Live Attentively
We see. Like most of you when I go to bed at night I wonder where the day went. The day’s activities meld into a mass of faces, chores, tasks, and responsibilities in which I am glad to be finished with; I’m tired. Jesus’ days must also have left him feeling ragged; people following him wherever he went, asking questions, wanting something from him, eating with various groups of people, sometimes preparing the meal himself, and fixing boo-boos. He sounds like a very busy mom. Yet, in what would drive us bonkers, he lived patiently and attentively enough to stop, to notice, and know who came to him. In Matthew 14:14 he’d been praying with his disciples when he was ambushed. Rather than being irritated for being interrupted or having his plans swayed, he looked, “He saw a large crowd, and felt compassion for them and healed
We hear. One sign of a good listener is someone who asks good questions. Jesus asked a lot of questions. We ask because we want to know. We all want to be known and loved, so, when we attend to the people we see, we engage them in conversation; we hear. By hearing people’s heart, struggles, and passions we connect and then we desire to serve and live life together. Hearing moves us to journey alongside others. When’s the last time you asked others good questions without talking about yourself?
We smell. I’m not talking about the need for deodorant when the bus line is starting to get fresh, but rather the aroma we manifest with our lives can either be fragrant to others or a stench. (2 Corinthians 2: 14-17) Our lives are like that of an Old Testament offering; what exudes from our behavior either is glorifying or breeds brokeness. Attentiveness to our offerings of service, prayer, and obedience to God is also noticed by others. We are to be known by our love and patience and attentiveness can help us love our neighbor as ourselves. It takes the concern away from ourselves and pours it out to others. (John 13:35) What is your scent offering smelling like these days? Do people enjoy being around you?
We taste. Jesus often ate with others. Gathering around a table for food breaks down barriers, opens up conversations, creates commonality for all people, it celebrates our humanity. It is no wonder we celebrate the Last Supper by remembering the breaking of bread and pouring out of wine as a symbol of Christ’s final sacrifice and the way to life. When we break bread together, we experience life together, we attend to our commonality and become one. Communion gathers us as a family, the body of Christ, a community. When’s the last time you invited others to your table?
We touch. When Jesus saw others he had compassion. (Mark 6:34) He often reached out his hands to heal because he is Emmanual; God with us. He entered into life’s suffering, hardships, challenges, and joys because he was flesh; like us. He knew us in every way and he knew we needed to be touched with acceptance, forgiveness, and love. He came to show us how to serve
Minding the Gap
In China before entering or exiting the subway train, there is an announcement to mind the gap; the small space between the platform and the train. It’s so small only a child’s foot could slip through, but enough of
Subscribe to along the wandering way. Join me and others as we journey toward living attentively so we can be more compassionate persons in and for our communities.
*The definition of patience comes from the book below.
Compassion: A Reflection on Christian Life, Nouwen, McNeill, and Morrison. pg. 91, Doubleday Random House Publishing, 1982
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