A Lenten Reflection
Discernment often comes at a price. Jesus was no stranger to the price it would cost to abide in God and listen to his voice. We are approaching the season of Lent, a time of fasting, prayer, mourning even. During Lent, we spend forty days rending our hearts to God’s will. This is the perfect season to begin a spiritual discipline that will encourage us to incline our ears and hearts to God.
During Lent, we consider giving up as a form of fasting, but forget the sacrifice is in order to make space for God, not improve our diet plan. If you chose to abstain from something, consider what you might fill it with that will increase your attentiveness toward God. It may be prayer, silence, or solitude, it could be a devotional reading or meditation on scripture, practicing the Jesus prayer or “breath prayers,” or an Ignatian practice of Lectio Divina or the examen or something as simple as journaling, drawing or memorizing scripture. Whatever you chose, remember Lent is a season of being in the desert to draw near to God; making space to be filled by God’s Spirit.
Lenten Discernment
In wondering about discernment and as I prepare for Lent, I am compelled to spend time reflecting on the hours Christ spent in prayer at Gethsemane leading up to his betrayal and the start of his journey to the cross. I believe it offers us insights into the spirit God desires us to have, alongside the reality of what we bring as we approach this liturgical season.
If you’ve never observed Lent, perhaps this will move you to consider how to spend the forty days of Lent starting February 26 until Easter. Let’s start by reading from Matthew.
The Garden of Gethsemane
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.”
And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour? Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, “My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Your will be done.” Again He came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. And He left them again, and went away and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more. (Matthew 26:36-44)
Recently I’d been asked to look at this passage and ask myself what it says about loss. After reading this passage, it dawned on me that without great loss, there is little room for courageous discernment. Here’s what stood out to me:
- For us to pray with a discerning heart is a struggle. Christ felt an unbearable burden as he prayed that filled him with heart-crushing sorrow. He discerned the path God intended him to take and had to come to terms with accepting it.
- To then embrace what God asks of us leaves us weakened. Jesus fell to the ground. Grief wreaks havoc on the body. It knocks the wind out of us, causes the heart to race and drains our energy. I can imagine the physical exertion he must have felt knowing death was coming. It took away his ability to stand, he was desperately crushed. Acceptance is a process of grief.
- When faced with God’s will in prayer, we often don’t want to embrace it for the sacrifice it demands. It means giving up, loss and saying no to something or someone else. It hurts. It seems too much, too burdensome and far too demanding. Even Jesus wrestled to embrace God’s will of going to the cross.
- When faced with choosing God’s will over ours, we can do nothing more than cry out for help. God often leads us to the impossible in order to show us he is capable of fulfilling his plans and that his plans are the ultimate good. We know God’s will is the priority, but we also know we can’t embrace it on our own. Our flesh is truly weak, we need the Holy Spirit. The disciples show us the rock bottom of weakness in this story. We, like the disciples, often succumb to our tired, weak, selfish wants. It’s easier.
- Sometimes when we ask those closest to us to help or go through the sorrow with us, they fail us. Sometimes the journey toward God’s will is a solo mission. The loneliness we can feel is challenging but encourages us to lean into God as our good shepherd.
Reflection Questions
In our journey toward desiring a discerning heart, I think we can all relate to the struggle found in abiding, surrendering and following God’s will found in Matthew. This Lent, I encourage you to ask God where you are in this story.
Are you struggling with a weakness, feel tired and unable to meet with God?
Is there temptation keeping you from surrendering to God’s will?
Are you face down in prayer like Jesus, wrecked with sorrow because you just can’t imagine doing what God is asking of you?
Or are you exhausted, yet relieved because you know God will be your help and so you are finally saying, “may your will be done.”
As you reflect on this passage and these questions, what stands out to you? Spend some time journaling or praying over your observations. At the end of Jesus’ praying, he’s left heartbroken, yet willing. Perhaps now is a good time to set your Lenten intentions.
Discernment is an active pursuit of God’s heart by becoming aware of his presence and active work. When we willingly let go and surrender to God, our ears, eyes, and heart attune to his. This passage depicts the reality of this struggle through Jesus’ prayer. Prayer is a vital part of discernment. But prayer is not a one-man show. The last part of this scripture that caught my eye was the number of times Jesus prayed–three. I don’t know if there is great significance to the number, but it reminded me of the Trinity and the involvement of the triune God in prayer. When we pray, we do so through the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Prayer is directed toward seeking God’s will, involves our presence in the flesh, though weak and full of struggle, and finally, is surrounded by the Spirit who empowers us to have ears to hear, the courage to accept, and power to walk fully into God’s life-giving purposes.
Discernment is messy. It involves wrestling in our hearts, inviting others in the process, struggle, and the triune God to assist. Though discernment is difficult, we are not alone. We are empowered by the Holy Spirit thanks to Christ’s willingness found in this prayer. I hope you will continue to journey with me in considering what it means to live a discerning life. You can subscribe at the bottom of the website. If you’d like to learn more about Lenten practices, don’t hesistate to reach out below.
