“Faith is, at heart, the central relationship that gives meaning to our lives…”to Faith” is to hand over the direction of one’s journey to another (Jesus), to yield up ‘the illusion of control’ to someone who is essentially beyond our control, over whom we have no power.”
Spiritual Direction and the Care of Souls, by David G. Benner, quoting K. Dykman and L.P. Carroll
It’s been awhile since I’ve shared aspects of my personal spiritual journey. The past few years have been full of waiting, watching, and wondering as I discern where God is leading in my life. I confess this liminal space has held a fine tension between fear and surrender, but as I sense the season of ‘being still’ breaking away like clouds after a rain storm a vision for the future is emerging and it is coming in the form of a reminder.
During a recent personal retreat I was reminded that sometimes moving forward involves looking back; remembering where you’ve been in order to gird up with confidence for the path ahead. Starting along the wandering way began with a vision of recalling whilst moving, even if ever so slowly, forward in faith with you and with God. I continue to resonate quite deeply with the metaphor of our spiritual journeys being that of the pilgrim, but what I’ve gained over the years is that pilgrimage is never meant to be experienced alone. The pilgrim life involves awareness, intention, prayer, faith, but the greatest treasure of any pilgrimage is experiencing the journey alongside others who also desire to go deeper in their search for truth, for Love, for God. Walking in this dynamic camaraderie with vulnerability and honesty allows me not only to be known, but has allowed me to begin to know myself.
When I started this blog, when I left China, I felt very alone, more like a solitary pilgrim, but in the sitting with God in what felt like darkness at the time, what illuminated in that space was the awareness that I was never really alone to begin with. The very nature of God himself is triune; communal. The very message of Christ is that he is with us in humanity. The very heart of salvation is that we are grafted through Christ to the Father by the binding power of the Holy Spirit that invites us into holy communion with our divine, triune creator who unites us with those who also pilgrim in faith with Jesus. The nugget of truth in this is that we are only fully made whole in divine, triune community and that Christ extends that unity to us in the present by making us sons and daughters (the Church).
This image of Love intermingled in Spirit and humanity has been the occupation of my mind and heart for many months now. It has been the reminder that I am never too far from God’s love, never too far from being known, never too far from knowing God, never too far from you and all the saints that have gone before us.
Which brings me to the crux of the reminder.
Jesus. It may sound like a kitschy Sunday school answer, but as of late in the midst of people walking away from church, reevaluating said ‘spirituality’, the timeless phraseology that ‘all paths lead to God’, as well as the vast ways culture has superseded Kingdom culture within Christianity in the West, I believe this reminder needs to be brought to our attention, placed in the forefront when all things seems to be going array. Jesus is our compass in the confusion. I trust this reminder is not just for me, but for us.
In the course of my personal discernment and spiritual journey, I’ve been made shockingly aware at how easy it is to forget that Jesus is the cornerstone. Even the disciples, who saw Jesus face-to-face forgot where to follow, so it is no wonder that we too cease to remember that he is the way.
the disciples asked…so how can we know the way? Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”
John 14:5-7
In our culture, we’ve misplaced the authority of God, our guide, and placed it on the ‘little’ church; the building, the programs, the music worship, the sermon, even the pastor. In doing so, we’ve misdirected people from the one and only way to God—Jesus, we’ve even deceived ourselves. This has caused us to lose our way and breed hurt, idols, moralism, and fear because only Jesus is the source of truth, love, peace and unity; the only way to seek God and the way in which we are found by God. All this to say, it is no wonder we are lost, yearning, disillusioned, and upset with the church; including our own faith, and unable to discern the Spirit. We must not be deceived to think that these ways of ‘doing’ church are equivalent to the love, community, unity, peace, justice, and wholeness offered to us by way of Christ as the way to ‘be’ the Church. We must be cautious to not forget Jesus’ clarity when we tells us who he truly is and that He alone is our way, our guide, our life; that He is our truest path and shepherd on our spiritual journey.
We too easily replace the person of Jesus with ideological movements, personal control and begin to believe Jesus isn’t necessary. No matter how passionate we may be about about these things, at the end of the day they depend on us, not on the movement of the triune Spirit in the world, and they will fail.
For those of us longing for a vibrant spiritual life, willing to walk hand-in-hand as pilgrims on the journey no matter how often we falter or get confused, we must remember that we are not waywardly traveling, nor do we direct the path. Sometimes in the thick of confusion we need to stop watching the path and look ahead at whom we follow to regain our bearings and remember how far He’s taken us thus far. We need to re-see Who we are following, to remember, we’ve been given a guide, we have a friend in the journey who loves us deeply, finds us when we get lost or off track, knows our deepest fears and joys, listens, intercedes and leads us to still waters and green pastures while making us feel secure. Jesus is the reminder that God loves us, pursues us, lives with us and will help us on this long, arduous journey.
As I’ve noticed tasks, personal pursuits, and fears beginning to bog me down, I needed the blinding reminder that nothing can substitute Christ in the spiritual journey, no thing, no ideology, no person, no institution, no credential, no dream. Jesus is the only way to experience a vibrant spiritual journey. Jesus provides us eyes to see ourselves as we truly are in relationship to God and then through grace, the Spirit transforms us while we journey together. The past few years have felt like trudging through a jungle full of vines, animals who wish to devour me, and endless distractions that cause me fear, but this recent reminder is that the prize is already before me. I’ve kept my head down for too long in the journey, but as I look ahead I see only one way; Jesus, and I realize my future is not about where I will go or what I will do, but Who I will follow and Who I get to be with along the wandering way.
REFLECTION
- Think about where you find yourself on your spiritual journey. Are there ways you’ve lost sight of Jesus? What might it be like for you to reset your gaze on Jesus in your journey?
- Idols are the things in our life that take space in our hearts and distract us from being solely desirous of God. They become what we follow after, what idols have you been following? (examples: -isms, movements, success, pride, depression, fear.) Ask Jesus to help recast your vision on him first so that those other passions may be infused by his spirit-giving power.
- If you sense the Spirit giving you some awareness in these areas, spend time talking with Jesus about them, perhaps even asking him to help re-align your heart with his. Lastly, is Jesus inviting you to take his hand and follow him with less control and more trust?
For more about the pilgrim life check out some of my older blogs about various pilgrims in the Bible as well as the joy found in being a pilgrim with Jesus. Click: Who is a Pilgrim?
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