I’m not a Savior

Guest blogger, Mandy, has been working in Cambodia since March 2011. She’s been a full-time teacher, Country Director, and now Regional Director for her international organization. In her free time, she frequents coffee shops with former students and Khmer girlfriends while laughing, crying and sharing life with them. In the evenings, because it’s unsafe to be out at night, Mandy spends time watching Netflix and working on crafty quilts and cards. She enjoy reading and walking around museums.

What I am not… is a savior.

Living in a foreign land has stripped me of my unconscious thinking of “they don’t need Jesus, they need Mandy” savior-complex. Did I come here out of obedience to the command that God gave us all to take the Truth to the world? Absolutely. Did I come here with a humbleness of spirit? I did. Did I come here believing that God would use me to impact the lives of others? You bet. 

What I didn’t come here with was an understanding that He would use this place to turn me completely upside down and inside out. In my obedience to move to Cambodia, I have been stretched in ways I didn’t think were possible, cleansed in areas I didn’t know were unclean, and I have experienced growth that has born fruit, internally and externally, beyond my expectations. I often say, “Cambodia has brought out the worst of me that I might be filled with the best of Him.” 

For the past eight years my position has changed from teacher to country director to regional director, and one of the most significant lessons I have learned in these positions and through these transitions is that every time I “do it my way” I break the heart of God. 

I cannot change people. I cannot change myself. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to change; to save. Daily I am reminded that nothing I do is going to change people whether it be the students in my classroom, my neighbors, or my team members, or myself. 

So, instead of trying to control my own life, the lives of others, even the spiritual health of others; the task I used to believe was mine to complete, God has shown me that my hunger for Him must be greater than my hunger to complete the task in front of me. The task will be completed in His way, in His time. You see, completing the task of taking the gospel to the nations, at home or abroad, would be significantly easier and faster for God if He didn’t love me enough to let me join Him. The privilege to serve is due to the unconditional love of God. The perfect love of a sinner, not a savior, such as me.

French theologian, Fraçios de la Mothe Fénélon, gives a beautiful picture of how I long to live as a servant anywhere in the world.

Cheered by the presence of God, I will do at the moment, without anxiety, according to the strength which he shall give me, the work that his Providence assigns me. I will leave the rest without concern; it is not my affair…I ought to consider the duty to which I am called each day, as the work that God has given me to do, and to apply myself to it in a manner worthy of his glory, that is to say, with exactness and peace.

Join the conversation. Have you ever considered the things Mandy talks about in your own life?