Sometimes the lessons we learn as a child don’t begin to make sense until we experience more of life and mature. Today’s blog unfolded in that way for me, so bear with me in what might seem like a tangent.
Our church recently asked us to help encourage an effort to reach out to our surrounding community. However, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking, “How can we go into the community if I’m still wrapping my mind around the idea of what it means to love my neighbor as I should?” As I lay in bed one night, my mind began to wander as I wrestled with this dilemma. That’s when someone from my childhood came to mind— the dearly beloved Mr. Rogers along with all the times he invited me into his neighborhood each week on TV. In the midst of my nighttime tangent, a passage from Mark came to mind. These two paths merged until I began outlining lessons I’ve learned over the years that might help me practically love my neighbor enough to pursue him or her? And, to invite them into my community?
For those of you who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood here’s a preview. For us children of the 70s and 80s, Mr. Rogers was a childhood staple and friend. His calm demeanor, educational principles, and gentle kindness were foundational in our developmental years.
There are defining characteristics of how Mr. Rogers lived within his neighborhood and how Jesus’ disciples were first sent out that I believe can help us better engage with those we live among, work among and pass each day.
The following passage in Mark shares how Christ sent out his disciples after just calling them to follow him. Jesus didn’t waste any time, his purpose was urgent.
Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. Calling the Twelve to him, he began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over impure spirits. These were his instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” They went out and preached that people should repent. They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.
Mark 6:6-13
Lessons Mr. Rogers and Jesus can Teach Us About Being a Loving Neighbor —
Be I
When the twelve were sent, Jesus commanded them to take nothing. Their needs were to be provided by whoever opened their door to them. They would rely on whoever invited them in, and not to fret over those who closed the door in their face. In this scene, the good neighbor is the one opening the door to those who come knocking. Mr. Rogers was a man who always opened his door and invited people in—he never closed the door on anyone. With open arms, every neighbor was welcomed to come in, share their story, and spend time together. Where the disciples were welcomed they shared the Good News, in the process of sharing, people and communities were changed by Christ.
TO PONDER—Are you an inviting person? Not just to those who come to your door, but to those in your circle of life, those who cross your path? This doesn’t just mean inviting people into your homes, but into your life, into a conversation.
Be Vulnerable
The disciples went door to do with great vulnerability because they had nothing of physical value. They were dependent on the generosity and openness of others. They were only able to offer their hosts one gift, which I believe is the point that Jesus was providing in this scenario, a path to salvation, eternal life, and a relationship with God. The disciples, by having nothing, were forced to be vulnerable with those they met, making their conversations and relationships raw, genuine, approachable, and trustworthy. When we approach others with sincere vulnerability, it is noticed. It helps others be more receptive of our words, thus, making a way for meaningful conversation. This is how Jesus’ message spread, this is how neighbors became friends. Mr. Roger’s may have been one of the most vulnerable TV personalities of all time. He shared genuine feelings of love, sadness, empathy by opening his life to millions and inviting them to do the same. He didn’t hide from the difficult parts of life, or sugar coat the struggles we all feel, he brought them out into the open for there to be healing, for barriers to be broken, and to educate us toward becoming whole persons. He knew vulnerability would enrich communities.
TO PONDER—Do you struggle to be genuine with others? Are you trying to hide some part of yourself, if so, what is it and why? Have you considered that others have similar fears and are looking for a deeper connection just like you? Can you be brave enough to live vulnerably with those you meet?
Be a Learner
Mr. Rogers took his audience on many educational field trips. I still remember the episode where I learned how crayons were made. He also invited neighborhood professionals to teach us about the ins and outs of their jobs. Each facet of his neighbors’ lives interested him and he wanted to share that with us. The Twelve Disciples likely didn’t know how to begin their first journey. I am sure they felt nervous to knock on the doors of strangers, offer them nothing, but ask for everything. I believe they had to go with a learning spirit, an open mind, and a willingness for God to show them the way and the how. Starting out with a learning mindset is the first step toward not being self-absorbed. Considering other peoples’ lives and feelings will give you the courage to go out and get to know your neighbor. I bet they are interesting people, wouldn’t you like to know?
TO PONDER—Do you ask questions because you genuinely care about people or to pass time in a social exercise? Have you considered that your fear focuses too much on self when Jesus is asking you to think about other’s feelings; to have empathy? Do you want to know who your neighbors are, what makes them happy or sad?
Be Kind and Listen
I remember Mr. Rogers as a kind, empathetic listener. A good friend doesn’t just hear and nod. A good friend and neighbor listens deeply and can do this by asking meaningful, pointed questions all while being kind and generous. When we feel heard, we feel loved. Sometimes our neighbors only need a listening ear. Mr. Rogers spent a lot of time turning a kind ear to his friends and neighbors and helping them work through life. In some instances, as in the disciples’, we are looking for those to listen as we share. As Jesus pointed out to the disciples, not everyone will listen. Some won’t want to hear you and that is okay. It is okay to walk away from those places. But when someone is ready to listen, then speak, and when someone needs to speak, then listen. In being sent, the disciples were to be kind, not push themselves on those unwilling. They gave everyone an opportunity to listen and invested where they were heard.
TO PONDER—When is the last time you listened with empathy to someone without thinking of yourself? When is a time you felt unheard? How did that make you feel? When’s the last time you shared the Good News with someone, how was it received?
Give Dignity
As created images of the living God, all human life is of value and equally love-able and uniquely special. When we dishonor that, we tear apart a person’s dignity. When we value human life we are able to meet people where they are and show them attention, care, and love; just as you would like to receive. To appreciate a person for who they are in spite of their looks, social status, health, home, education or any other earthly condition makes anyone feel loved. When we can do this aside from all prejudices, biases or fears, we can begin to love God’s creation as he loves them—unconditionally and with dignity. Mr. Rogers taught us how to give people dignity no matter race, gender, disability, or social status. He showed common decency, kindness, genuine interest and raised others above himself in each encounter. Mr. Roger’s broke down barriers of social injustice, hate, and prejudice before it was popular. He invited all peoples of all walks of life to share their story. He genuinely embraced them and encouraged his audiences to do the same, to close in the distance we create with our biases in order to bring together our communities—a message we desperately need to hear and live today.
The disciples also sought after people living in the recesses of society. People who didn’t fit the social norms due to illness or possession. They reinstated their status and gave them restored dignity. Jesus sent them with nothing to show his power over the evils in the world that break down the glory and beauty of our createdness. To take away the dignity of our neighbors is to do the opposite of what Jesus was and is trying to accomplish today—restoration and healing of people, communities, and his creation. He went to towns, not one-on-one visits, he influenced communities, not pockets of believers (our modern churches), he sought the outcasts, not just the good looking.
TO PONDER— Do you take time to find what is to be appreciated and valued in every human? When is the last time you looked upon a person without judgment? Consider the dynamics of your circle of influence, who could you engage in conversation and get to know? Who are your neighbors, is there anyone living under the thumb of indignity, can you help restore theirs? What are the needs of your neighborhood, how might you serve to bring healing? Are there people who live in the fringe and seem forgotten in your community? They may be someone struggling with alcoholism or drugs, a disabled person, elderly, homeless, divorced, widowed, mental illness, terminal illness, new neighbor, low income, how could you invite them into your community?
I am still learning how to be a good neighbor. I am still learning how to love those around me. I am still learning how to be bold and courageous with God’s Good News. I am still learning how to put God first and others second. We are all a work in progress, but let’s never give up pursuing “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4: 8-9
I invite you to be my neighbor and journey along the wandering way with me and others. You can do that by subscribing at the bottom of the website. If you have lessons you’ve learned on what it means to be a good neighbor, please share with us.
